Tuesday, November 25, 2014

weight loss Wednesday

I haven't dropped anymore lbs in the last week or so, but I know I am still losing SOMETHING because my clothes, some of which were just purchased two or three weeks ago, are falling off. 

Either way, I am still getting closer and closer to that 100 lbs. And as I get closer, I am thinking about all of the things that I couldn't/wouldn't do 100 lbs ago.

Things like run the bases at softball...or walk up a few flights of stairs without getting winded. Now, I can jog a full mile without stopping and climb 45 flights in the stairmaster. 

Things like wear a bikini or go shopping at "normal" stores. Do you know that everytime I go shopping, I still immediately beeline for the plus size section? Even though I don't need to only shop plus size anymore. I'm down to a size 14. That's a hard thing to change. I've been "plus size" since I was 17. As far as the bikini goes, I still have a long ways before I could pull THAT off, but it's getting closer.

But the most important things are things most might not even think of. Like...100 lbs ago I couldn't fit comfortably in a seat at a concert or sporting event. I had to literally squeeze myself in, and then spend the entire time in pain. Just last week I went to my first event since losing this much weight: a basketball game. I reluctantly sat down and was shocked that I actually had wiggle room! I could easily get up and down without getting stuck! It was an amazing feeling, and one that I can't ever remember having before.  

There's also one thing I've always wanted to do: go rock climbing. I never have because I was too afraid. First of all, I'm scared of heights, so there's that. But I've also been scared that I would be too big or that the rope wouldn't be able to support my weight. Now that I am almost 100 lbs lighter, I feel like I should try it. I want to try it. I just have to get over that fear of heights ;-)

Other than that, there's not much I COULDN'T do before. It was just that everything was much more difficult. Moving through my days before was painful and exhausting. I remember the days when just walking down the hall to the bathroom felt like a huge chore. Now, I purposely take the long way, getting in some extra steps wherever I can.

Mostly, what has changed is that I have learned to love myself. I am not saying it's impossible to love yourself when you are overweight because it's not. But I would be lying if I told you I was happy with who I was before the weight loss. I wasnt... And that was the biggest problem. Because I didn't care about myself, I didn't take care of myself, and it was all one vicious cycle. Now, my healtb is my priority. I love that I take care of myself. I love how my skin glows, I love how strong my muscles have become and how I can feel my hip bones. I love that I love me.

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